I think of myself as a very very rich woman.

I have spent last night and this morning watching StreetCar named Desire. 

It takes me at least 4 hours to watch that 2 hour movie. 

There are so many great scenes that I find myself rewinding and re-watching certain parts three times over. 

It makes me feel like writing my first year Marlon Brando research paper all over again. He is so true to character. It wasn't his great teacher coincidentally named Stella Adler that moulded him as so many acting students believe. He was meant for greatness. 

Watching greatness only inspires you to greatness. But I can't act like Marlon Brando only Marlon Brando can be Marlon Brando. At my best attempts I would be Kim trying to act like Marlon Brando. I can only be Kim Dillon acting as Kim Dillon but would that be great? 

Is that where my greatness lies? No that would be the past 11 years of my life. 

Maybe it lies in another passion. 

This time around though I was as enthralled by the honest portrayal of Vivien Leigh as Blanche.  I found myself rewinding alot of Vivien Leigh as Blanche. One speech in particular really struck a chord with me. 

Stan: This Millionaire isn't' gonna to interfere with your privacy none? 

Blanche: It won't be the sort of thing you have in mind.  This man is a gentlemen

He respects me.

What he wants is my companionship. 

Having Great wealth sometimes makes people lonely. 

A cultivated woman, a woman of breeding and intelligence can enrich a man's life immeasurably. I have those things to offer and time doesn't take them away. 

Physical beauty is passing, a transitory possession. 

Beauty of the mind, the richness of the spirit, Tenderness of the heart. I have all those things that aren't taken away but grow, increase with the years. Oh... 

Strange that I should be called a destitute woman when I have all these treasures locked in my heart. I think of myself as a very very rich woman n. 

But I have been foolish casting my pearls before ...

Stan: Swine huh? 

Blanche: YES SWINE! ...

If only that rich lonely millionaire who wanted you for those treasures did exist ! 

Why is she portrayed as mentally unstable in this movie ? I know her young husband killed himself and that left some scars clearly. Great writing Tennessee Williams brilliant. But I cant help but feel that in the movie after giving this amazing speech she is labelled as crazy and weak. I do get the feeling it is meant to suppress women who value these virtues or this ideal. I cant help but see the patriarchy grip tighten. I have a hard time putting this notion into a clear concise statement I only know that there is something so right in what she is saying but then something so wrong in the imagery or what befalls her. Maybe someone could lend me a hand in explaining. 

Also I plan on wondering the streets in a rhinestone tiara with a vintage taffeta dress  in my 50's - when I can no longer walk, reciting this monologue. Just in the street over and over again after my failed marriages. Sometimes spoken  inaudible whispers, then in mutters and then in loud deep screams. Care to join me ?

Another note before I watch the special features until Ty gets of work and I can surf. Surfing settles my nerves, they call it hydrotherapy. 

In the last scene Blanche Wears an INCREDIBLE Blouse. With beautiful round cloth buttons with a silky drape and a kind of silk hood in the back. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a blouse like it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxGN29njs3Q&feature=PlayList&p=764295DCB7A39A55&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=24

This is the last scene, let it load but my blouse is seen from 1:10 - 1:24. A pause at 1:23 can help you see the hood in the back. Damn it I want it soo bad.